Friday, 2 September 2011

Managing stress during late pregnancy

I am 31 weeks and 1 day today. I work 5 days a week. I already have a daughter and no family support, except for my partner. I am no more special than other people. London is full of working parents rashing to catch the tube, the bus, the train and make it on time. Parents who feel exhausted by the time the lunch break arrives. Being pregnant does not make it easier. I know, I am not saying anything new here.

To get me through the day the first step for me is to acknowledge how I am feeling, what I am thinking and what I am doing. It sounds simple, and I find it extremely difficult, every day. This is what I call 'practising the art of awareness'. What I find the most difficult, and I guess I am not alone here, is not necessarily doing what I think would help me to manage my energy levels better...it's about motivation, encouragement and belief that I can be disciplined and strong. Often I am too tired to even remind myself of what would help me to not only get through the day, but also feel quite happy by the end of it!

So, here is one of my ways of dealing with my lack of motivation: I close my eyes and I visualize the tired Ilaria by noticing everything I could possibly notice (her facial expression, what she may be feeling, what she is wearing, etc; then as an observer I look around and I visualize another Ilaria, who seems to be doing fine, who can sit comfortably somewhere and seems to have some spare positive energy to pass on; then I imagine that this latter Ilaria can go up to the tired one and nourish her, comfort her; sometimes there are lots of me in my mental picture and they are all brilliant at taking care of the tired/exhausted/unhappy one.

You can use this veary easy and relaxing exercise anywhere and anyhow you like...you can imagine your strong 'selves' doing pretty anything that you wish someone would do for you...I sometimes do this on the tube, even if I am standing, because I can still close my eyes for a few minutes and it does not require me to either sit or lie in any particular position (and I don't have to recite mantra either!).

This mental picture normally helps me to both acknowledge that I am actually quite drained as well as being ok with it, and rather than entering a sort of internal conflict with myself because 'I am not doing what i should be doing', I manage to find some self-compassion and strength by simply being and allowing myself to be.

So now, I shall have a power nap, instead of washing my lunch-dishes! Next time I shall write about my 'funny power naps'!!!

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